Spring Musical Awakening
by phoebenpiper
Summary: The Evans twins are each cast in a production of their colleges' spring musical production of "Spring Awakening". Dialogue only, but based on an R-rated musical so beware.
1. Chapter 1

**Spring Musical Awakening**

an HSM story by phoebe piper

_Note: Although this story is all dialogue, it's based on an R-rated musical, so some subject matter may not be appropriate for younger readers. Don't say I didn't warn you. :)_

_- - -_

"Hey, Shar, what's up?"

"I have FABULOUS news! Are you sitting down?"

"No, I'm on my way to class. Can I call you back in an hour?"

"No you CAN'T 'call me back in an hour'. My news is big, Ryan. It's HUGE!"

"Well, I have some big news, too, Shar, but I'm gonna be late to Music Theory as it is. Can't I call you back -- it'll only be 50 minutes, I promise."

"You can't make we wait, Ry! This is too big!"

"Fine. Then why don't we just both blurt out our news at the same time and then we can talk about it later."

"Ryan, that's lame! We're not toddlers!"

"Well, I don't have time to--"

"Okay, FINE! Together in 3...2...1.…"

"We're doing _Spring Awakening_!" "We're doing _Spring Awakening_!"

"Shar, that's awesome!"

"I can't BELIEVE you're doing it, too! I was SO gonna rub it in your face that we were doing it first!"

"But I don't understand, Shar. How can U of A AND Juilliard both be doing it at the same time? I mean, the rights are only just now being released."

"Exactly! Think about it, Ryan. Now that it's available, we probably shouldn't be surprised if every college in the COUNTRY is doing it this spring!"

"Well, at least we both get to take advantage of it, right?"

"Sure, whatever, Pollyanna."

"Don't be like that, Shar. Don't get upset! You're going to be in _Spring Awakening_ -- you should be happy."

"Yeah, yeah. Call me in an hour!"

- - -

"So? How did it go, sis?"

"It was…weird."

"Weird how? Weird 'Ms. Darbus weird' or weird 'Peter Brook weird'."

"Weird 'Peter Schaffer weird'. We didn't even do any readings. It was all improv and charades. Like making people simulate masturbation."

"Well, that kinda makes sense. I mean, you wouldn't want to cast someone as Hanschen who wouldn't be comfortable 'masturbating' on stage."

"Yeah, but the director made EVERYONE 'masturbate' for their auditions -- boys AND girls!"

"Well, I can see that, too. I mean, all the characters need to be in touch with their own burgeoning sexuality. That's kinda the main point of the show."

"Ryan, he made the girls pretend they had a schlong!"

"Okay, that IS weird. "

"Told you!"

"So how'd you do?"

"Fabulous -- I just pretended to be you with an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog."

"Thanks, sis. But you know they no longer publish the catalog -- they just have a website now."

"Ew! Now I know why you spend so much time on-line."

"Well_, 'the internet is for porn.'_"

"Then don't come near MY keyboard! But how about you, Ry? How'd YOUR audition go?"

"I don't know. I was REALLY nervous! More nervous than I've EVER been for an audition!"

"Why? You know _Spring Awakening_ backwards and forwards."

"But that's the problem, Shar. I want this SO BADLY!"

"You mean you want the part of Moritz so badly."

"Oh Shar, I don't know what I'll DO if I don't get Moritz. I mean, I'm not even sure I want to BE in the show if I have to watch someone else play my role."

"Oh c'mon, Ryan! You LOVE _Spring Awakening_ -- you'll be happy just to be cast as Swing."

"But I've waited my entire life to play Moritz! I'll be DEVASTATED if I don't get it."

"Entire life? Oh puh-lease! Don't be such a drama queen, Ryan. The show's only been around for three years!"

"Yeah, but I feel such a connection with Moritz. It's like the part was written for me."

"The part was written over a hundred years ago, Ryan -- I sincerely doubt Frank Wedekind had you in mind back in 1892."

"You know what I mean, sis. And I simply don't feel that connection with any of the other characters."

"Well, what about your childhood crush on our dance instructor -- that's similar to Georg's obsession with his piano teacher. And clearly Otto's a mamma's boy -- I'm just saying! And with the whole gay thing, you'd probably make a good Ernst."

"Ernst?! Are you kidding? I'd make a TERRIBLE Ernst!"

"You're right -- you would. I'm sorry I lied -- I was just trying to make you feel better about your shitty audition."

"Aw! Thanks, Shar. That means a lot to me."

"Don't get mushy, Ryan. Just stop worrying. You probably did fine, and if not, there's nothing you can do about it now anyway. So go find your Abercrombie and Fitch website and try to relax."

"Uh, yeah. You, too, Shar."

"And call me the instant the cast list is posted."

"Well DUH!"

- - -

"So?"

"I GOT IT! I GOT MORITZ!!!"

"Ryan, that's fabulous! Congratulations! I knew you'd make it!"

"I still can't believe it! I'M SO EXCITED!"

"Yes, me and my shattered eardrum are well aware of your excitement."

"Sorry, Shar. It's just…I'm gonna be Moritz! Finally! It's a dream come true!"

"Yes, yes. Huzzah for you, Ryan."

"Um…I take it from your tone that you're not happy with YOUR part?"

"Gee, Ryan, whatever gave you THAT idea?!"

"So…did you even GET a part?"

"What kind of question is that?! Of COURSE I got a part."

"Well, that's good. So who'd you get? Thea? Martha?"

"Ilse."

"Ilse?! That's FABULOUS, Shar! Ilse's the best female part in the show."

"How can you SAY that? Wendla has three times as much stage-time as Ilse!"

"Yeah, but face it, Shar -- Wendla is an ingenue. She's a 'Gabi' role. You're just not the right not type for Wendla."

"But Ilse's such a nutcase."

"Um…no comment?"

"Shut up, Ryan! I'm serious! Ilse is batshit crazy!"

"No she's not -- she's just…damaged."

"Same thing."

"No it's not. Ilse's vital to the plot -- she represents what happens when you go outside the system. Melchior's a fighter, but Ilse's been in the trenches for years! She's a symbol of freedom from the establishment…and how it's not all it's cracked up to be."

"But that's it exactly, Ry. How am I supposed to play a mere 'symbol'?"

"Ilse's MORE than just a symbol, Shar. She's complicated; she has depth. And you're a brilliant actress, sis. You're gonna make an awesome Ilse!"

"Of course I am. I'm just annoyed that you get more songs than me! It's not fair!"

"But look at it this way -- I'm the only person who doesn't get to sing 'Totally Fucked', and that's the best song in the show."

"Wow, thanks, Ryan. That actually makes me feel a lot better."

"Glad my pain makes you happy."

"Always!"

"Congratulations, Shar!"

"Congratulations, Ry."

- - -

END OF CHAPTER 1


	2. Chapter 2

**Spring Musical Awakening**

Chapter 2

- - -

"Hey, Shar, what's up?"

"I just got back from our first read-through."

"Ooh, how'd it go? We had ours last night."

"The director is even more insane than I thought."

"How so? More masturbation?"

"No. He simply had us do a read-through…BACKWARDS!"

"Backwards?!"

"Yep. We started by reading the final line of 'Purple Summer' and then read back line by line till we reached Wendla's first 'Mama Who Bore Me'."

"Why?!"

"Because he's CRAZY?! I don't know! He said that _Spring Awakening_ was all about how conformity with the establishment destroys individuals, so he wanted us to start, quote: 'breaking down the barriers of our own deep-seeded destruction by defying convention' and proceeding backwards instead of forwards."

"Okay, he does sound wacky. But what about the rest of the cast? Are the actors any good?"

"You mean 'is Moritz any good?' And no, he seems like a total asswipe! Completely stuck up. Just like his hair -- I think that's the only reason he got the part! I've never seen so much product in a guy's hair before -- ger-ross! And he's such a skeeze, he's gonna have to do some major acting if he's gonna generate ANY sympathy from the audience."

"Oh good."

"Good?! You think it's good that the person I'm going to be spending my next two months playing opposite is a disgusting jerk?!"

"No. I'm just relieved that you're not gonna be ragging on me because I don't measure up to YOUR Moritz."

"When have I EVER done something like that, Ryan?"

"Um…no comment? So what about the other actors?"

"Wendla's a whiny bitch -- I've worked with her before and she's tres annoying! Our Melchior's okay -- he was our Baker last year in _Into the Woods. _He's a good actor but a weak singer -- I'm kinda worried about him hitting all the notes in 'Left Behind'."

"We have the opposite problem. Justin -- OUR Melchior -- is a music major. GORGEOUS tenor -- both voice AND body -- but TERRIBLE actor. Couldn't act his way out of a paper bag."

"Gorgeous, huh? Then use his lack of talent to your advantage, Ry. Invite him for private rehearsals. Explain that Moritz & Melchior have a special connection and therefore you need to spend LOTS of time together to develop that kind of camaraderie. I mean, I'm assuming you're interested in him, right? That is…if he's gay."

"He's a tenor…of COURSE he's gay! And that's a brilliant idea, sis."

"I know!"

- - -

"So…how are things going with Justin?"

"They're not. He's straight."

"Straight?! I thought you said he was a tenor."

"Yeah, I was shocked, too."

"Oh PLEASE tell me you didn't embarrass yourself."

No, of course not, Shar! It's not like I jumped on him the moment we were alone or anything."

"Well, that's a relief. So how'd you find out?"

"Because he jumped on Wendla the moment THEY were alone."

"Lucky Wendla."

"Not really. It turns out SHE'S seeing Anna."

"You gotta love the theatre! Though I'm sorry you won't be seeing much of Justin."

"Oh, I'll still be seeing him. Straight or not, he still needs acting lessons."

"And you're SELFLESSLY going to help him."

"Why not? He's still gorgeous. But I've found out that Eric, our Hanschen, plays for my team."

"Baseball?"

"Very funny."

"Well, is Eric as gorgeous as Justin?"

"No, but he's pretty cute. AND he's interested in me, which makes ANY guy infinitely more attractive!"

"Good for you, Ry. Who needs e-harmony when you've got play practice?"

"So what about you? Any cute guys in your cast?"

"Aren't you being a bit greedy? I mean, you've got Justin for rehearsals and Eric for…."

"Not for ME, Shar. I meant for you. Anyone you're interested in?"

"Not really. Though OUR Hanschen's pretty cute, too."

"You should go for it, Shar. Wouldn't that be awesome if we both started dating a Hanschen?"

"Awesome? Really, Ry, I think you're taking this twin thing a bit too far."

"Fine, then be lonely and unhappy for the rest of your life, Shar -- see if I care."

"Thanks a lot!"

- - -

"So our director is making us do this brilliant exercise, Shar. You know how Ms. Darbus always made us write up a character background for our characters? Well, Richard is making us do it as well."

"But your characters are all adolescents -- how can you even HAVE a background? 'And when I was nine I skinned my knee.'"

"Exactly, Shar! So instead, he wants us to write up a character future."

"Future? That makes sense for Melchior and Ilse, but Moritz and Wendla don't even HAVE a future."

"THAT'S the brilliant part! He wants us to imagine that we didn't die! Isn't that fabulous?"

"It kinda misses the whole point of the play."

"No it doesn't, Shar. It's awesome!"

"If you say so, Ry….Are you pouting?"

"No."

"…Okay, Ryan….Your exercise sounds fabulous….I'd LOVE to hear your character future for Moritz, Ryan."

"You would?!"

"Well, that's obviously why you called, and you're just gonna pout until you get to tell me, so go ahead."

"Okay! So, my idea is that Melchior helped Moritz get the money to flee to America, so he booked passage on a ship and left. And of course he's poor, so he's down in steerage. And in the next cabin is a young girl named Gretel--"

"Gretel?!"

"Well, I was trying to come up with a German name. Anyway, Gretel is traveling with her parents, and they take Moritz under their wing, so he gets to spend all this time with Gretel as the two of them try to study their English together."

"Cute. But what about Moritz's issues with puberty? He flunked out because he was so overwhelmed with his wet dreams -- you can't tell me he's suddenly fine with everything."

"I'm getting to that! So since he's spending all this time with Gretel, he obviously starts having dreams about her, which at first he finds really upsetting. But one day while they're walking together, taking a break from studying, Gretel takes hold his hand, and Moritz thinks his heart is going to beat out of his chest--"

"Or his hard-on is going to beat out of his pants."

"Shar! Anyway, yes, he's excited about holding her hand and is nervous and frightened about what might happen next. But that night he merely dreams of holding her hand, and he wakes up feeling more awake and alive than he's felt in a year."

"Aw! How sweet!"

"If you're going to mock me--"

"Sorry, sorry. Go on, Ryan. Let me guess -- he and Gretel get to America and live happily ever after?"

"No, they get separated at Ellis Island and he never sees Gretel again. But she's now cured him of his neuroses, so he's able to go on and live a long life."

"As what? A shoeshine boy in New York City? He's fifteen, speaks German, and has no skills other than controlling his hard-ons."

"He can speak English now, too -- weren't you paying attention?"

"That still doesn't solve his other problems."

"Well, now that he's able to get a full night's sleep without being tortured by the Angel, he's strong and able to get hired on a wagon train."

"A wagon train? In 1892? Did you SLEEP through history class?"

"Whatever. He gets out to the West somehow, by wagon train or whatever, and becomes a cowboy, riding the range, free from the confines of the adult world that enslaved him as an adolescent."

"And then one day his horse runs off a cliff and he dies. The end."

"Very funny, Shar."

"No, seriously -- I like it, Ry. I'm glad Moritz is allowed to live a long and happy life. And does he write Melchior and tell him that everything turned out for the best?"

"I didn't even think about that! That's a great idea, Shar."

"That's what I'm here for."

- - -

END OF CHAPTER 2


End file.
